Archives for posts with tag: angst

Mistakes are the cuts nobody sees,

deep or shallow, they bleed,

draining you, taking your mind away

from the present, keeping you

from breathing the air available;

they’re like a veil, covering you eyes,

a filtered view, a lens discoloured;

the world seems less because

your problems are more.

 

But mistakes could just be

uninformed decisions, good intentions

led astray by unknowing; choices made

under circumstances enthralling, unavoidable;

so why lament? why beat yourself up

for choosing a path knowing

all that you could have known?

 

Hindsight and retrospect can be foul

harbingers of regret, illusions

so pointless and destructive; or

they can evince a wisdom previously hidden,

the choice lies in the self, in wait, if

you have eyes to see it.

Life will go on, everything will be fine,

experience is invaluable, the sun

will rise when the night ends, learn

from the cuts of mistakes.

 

Such wounds cannot heal without

the advent of self-reflection.

 

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The fall seemed interminable,

that timeless descent, days and nights disguised,

I plummeted

through familiar air

waiting

for a familiar impact; the ground

welcoming me into its arms

like an old friend. Only, this time,

there was no ground but

a body of water

and into its depths I plunged.

 

The calm,

the tranquillity,

the silence,

embraced me. Under the surface,

free from fear and angst, I wait and watch

all that transpires above,

collecting myself and my thoughts,

changing my perspective and mind-set

through the refracted light,

waiting

for the right moment

to break the surface

and enter the fray, once more, changed,

as I should have changed after

all the other times

I had fallen.

 

 

the sun is dying and I’m

waiting to hear

from you,

waiting for words

to make everything

more OK

than it has

been;

drinking to drown

the fear,

smoking to choke

the anxiety,

writing to alleviate

the angst: a modern

catharsis

because I can’t think

of any other

way.

 

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